Clashing Time

Fashion, beauty & lifestyle

Friday, 12 January 2018

Unexplained Unfulfillment

Despite being friends with people because of common interests or circumstances, you will never view a situation in the same way as the person next to you. You can feel as if you know someone because they portray themselves in a certain way, but it's important to remember that behind closed doors they might be someone completely different. It's so easy to make assumptions about people based on what you know or see about them, but how often do you stop to look deeper? We are all so busy, so we choose to accept people as what we think we know, and that is completely fine! Who can be bothered to question it? Modern day life takes over and we are all time poor, so viewing things in the simplest way is normally the easiest to come to terms with. Every so often though, we should take a moment to realise that only a few individuals are truly themselves on the inside and out, and that some people use all of their energy on 'appearing' okay, whilst also suffering with anxieties, fears and battles of their own. 
I've titled this post unexplained unfulfillment because this is what I suffer from. I have a roof over my head, food on the table, and a steady income, yet I live with a constant feeling of unfulfillment. It's absolutely insane when I try to explain it to people (so apologies if it doesn't make much sense), but I guess the only way I can articulate what I mean is by saying that my life feels like a never ending battle to achieve what is just out of reach. My brain tells me on a daily basis that i'm incapable of achieving the salary I want, the body I want, the motivation I want, the types of friendships I want...and there is absolutely no explanation as to why. I just can't. I realise that this is a stereotypical post written by a modern day 'millennial' - someone who is supposedly completely unsatisfied with life and unappreciative of what I have (can you tell I hate generational prejudice?). However, I think it is important to explain that this is how I feel, and not hold back because I'm worried about what people will think. 
I've spent most of my life suffering with anxiety and have had real issues with comparison, but I think that more recently it has dawned on me quite how much I struggle with it. We live in a world of instagram models and social media accounts which display the success of our peers, and it makes it really difficult for each of us to not compare our lives to theirs. Don't get me wrong, there's so many amazing things that come from the world we live in, but it's also not healthy to see these aspirational bloggers and celebrities who live lives that are so out of reach. It makes it almost impossible for me to realise my value or work out where I belong when I'm pretty much being told that I should be someone completely different to who I am. It's not surprising in the slightest that I am feeling these crazy feelings of unfulfillment when I am getting so much exposure to an unattainable lifestyle. I know deep down that all the things I think I want wouldn't necessarily make me happy or fulfilled in any way, but because it is in front of me all the time my brain plays tricks on me. 
This year I want to spend more time following and being inspired by girls and guys who I feel like I could go for a coffee with. Make friends with people who live in the moment and are real, those who write posts about real life subjects that I can relate to and don't make me feel bad about myself. Every time I look at a picture and get that horrible sensation of FOMO (from a friend or blogger), I need to pinch myself and bring myself back to reality and realise that the person in the picture might be struggling with the same imposter syndrome that I am - but they are just better at hiding it. I know that not every relationship is perfect, every girl suffers from body image issues, and I know that I can't afford a Gucci handbag or go to expensive restaurants on a daily basis, so why am I spending my time trying to convince myself that that way of life would make me feel more satisfied?
I know that mental health is discussed all over the place, as this is 2018, but it always amazes me that it is still so frowned upon by some people to openly discuss the struggles that you're going through. We all seem scared to be honest about the thoughts in our heads due to the fear of being called a drama queen, an over-sharer, or worse be categorised as the dreaded label of 'mentally unwell' (which unfortunately has more negative connotations than it should). I don't know about you, but I think I have very few friends who feel secure enough to discuss the extent of what is going on with them because we live in such a world of judgement. People are worried, even with their own friends to talk about their insecurities and the things they are battling at the time. So I say to hell with all that. I want to encourage everyone in my life to be more open - in fact I challenge you. If someone makes you feel bad about thoughts you're having that aren't 100% happy all the time then they aren't people you should be spending time with. I don't want anyone else to have a horrible feeling of unfulfillment  - explained or unexplained - so how about we support each other a little bit more instead of feeling envy or rivalry? I've never been a big fan of 'new year, new you', but if you are going to change anything for the year ahead, then why not try to be content with what you already have? Stop feeling like you've failed because you're not the same as everyone else. We are all special, and the sooner we start believing that, the better off we will all be. 
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8 comments

She talks Glam said...

I always love reading your posts, Pippa. I reflected about this exact same thing not long ago and I partly believe this constant unfulfillment is due to being a bit of a spoiled generation and to the influence of social media indeed. I also want to connect more with people that truly inspire me, that I can relate to and that don't make me dislike my life hahahaha. Hope you are having a great start of your 2018, dear. Xx

Saida

Alice Toby-Brant said...

I read this with real interest.

I heard somewhere that comparison is the thief of joy and I've been trying to be really grateful whenever I realise how good I've got it.

However I think self reflection is key to understanding what the heck is going on these days and think being honest about how we feel is so important in breaking down the 'perfect life' phenomenon that swept through blogging and social media the past few years.

Here's to being real!

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