Clashing Time

Fashion, beauty & lifestyle

Saturday, 18 November 2017

Don't be afraid to re-invent yourself

When I say re-invent yourself, I don't mean going the fully whammy and dying your hair, getting rid of all your clothes and radically changing every aspect of your life (although totally fine if you want to do that). I'm more talking about the fact that you shouldn't be afraid to change who you are because of what people will think of you if you aren't the same old person you've always been. I have spoken to so many people in the last year about how damaging (and also amazing) old relationships of all types can be. On the one side you have people who know you through and through, and can support you with things that are reoccurring in your life. However, on the other hand it means that people have the same expectations of you, and they think of you as the same person you were when you were 10, 15, 20...when sometimes that just isn't always the case.
I have made a lot of changes to my life in the last few years, all for the better, and I wouldn't ever look back. As a result of this, i've grown up, and changed as a person - whether that is in my fashion sense, hair colour, make up style, or more personally in my attitude to life and the people around me -  there's no doubt about it, you can't always stay the same. I don't spend my time with some of the same people as I did 5 years ago, and there's nothing wrong with that. A lot of the time it isn't because it was some big conscious decision, but instead because we were friends through circumstance. I'm sure if I saw them now then things would be fine, but I doubt i'd go out of my way to arrange to make plans (however harsh that may sound). Life moves on, people change and move away, and there is literally nothing wrong with that. Sometimes friendships fade away, and as long as neither party is overly offended by that, then why are we spending so much time trying to force something that ultimately isn't making us happy? 
What I have realised is that I am at my happiest by having little pockets of friends in lots of different places, and some are old friendships and some are new. Variety is the spice of life after all! Each friendship offers something new, and I have no doubt that I am a slightly different person with each of them. I don't mean that I am being two faced or fake, but instead that I offer different qualities to all the relationships, and those people offer me something different to what I get from my other friends. Some people I hang out with like drinking and partying, whereas others don't. Some like art galleries and exhibitions, and others don't. Some like eating all the amazing food in London, whereas others like to exercise with me. How on earth can you be the same person all the time when what you like and dislike is changing on a daily basis? Let yourself be more than one person, and re-invent yourself from time to time if something new sparks an interest in you that you didn't know was there. You're not doing anything wrong by putting yourself out of your comfort zone, and by socialising with someone new or different. You're actually developing yourself, learning new things, exploring new places, and becoming a more well-rounded person by doing so. 
Don't get me wrong, the people who have been in my life for longer than a few years still mean the absolute world to me, but I would never want to put them in a box and only think of them in one way. They have changed, they have grown up, and although sometimes it may not work between you, more often than not, you realise that you're in it together. The best types of relationships are those where there is no pressure to see each other all the time, and that does not mean for one second that you care any less. It just means that you are respectful of each other's lives. We are all so bloody busy all the time, and we need to live our lives in a way that suits us best. Surround yourself with people who excite you, who fill your heart with warmth, and who bring you up when you're down. Whether you've known them a day, a month, a year or 10 years - it doesn't matter. You've re-invented yourself a number of times already, keep going - you never know who is waiting for you round the corner.
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2 comments

She talks Glam said...

I couldn't agree more, Pippa. It was difficult for me to accept this reality a few years ago, but once I realised we can't stay the same for years on end and having people expect things from us all the time, I became freer to choose my friendships and re-invent myself in the way I wanted. Hope you have a fantastic Sunday!

Saida | She talks Glam

Cerys Elder said...

Great post! – cerysfaye (http://cerysfaye.co.uk/)

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